The time of minutes do you ever count them? I do and every minute away leads me to my goal which is death. Some are afraid of dying but I just can’t wait for my after life and honestly I don’t know what to expect from it. The only thing I can see are the possibilities that I want to do but I can’t because I always think of the consequences. I sure wish just once I can break a rule. Smoke, drink, party, sneak out in the middle of the night, have a boyfriend, make a mistake. Both ways we seem to always be punished and I guess that is what scares me. The word possibilities, hopes, dream have been lost for me; they are out my dictionary. I am a silent smile. I know there is more in life I can do like finding my career, finishing high school, going to college. That is what many parents want us to do but have they ever told us to hey I want you to fail so you can succeed, live your life, do something great today, change someone’s life, hey let’s not go to school and let’s do a memorable day. No right because those are reckless ideas. I might as well be a reckless person because I want to see life as fucked up one but I can’t because the thing is it has good, it has bad and it’s not really fucked up its just life. Life itself can be warm and cold place it’s just the way you live it. If some reason you don’t live as a failure than I promise you will not be a winner, successful or great. You will be lost in darkness, curiosity, and time.
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